One of the most beautiful and graceful girls during our secondary school days was a tall, light-skinned piece of art called Flavia.  Even the most cynical of my book-worm classmates agreed that God had really spent more time creating her.

I remember chatting with her during one students’ association meeting and feeling the pressure building from within, while my colleagues eyed me jealously. But it was just a chat, and I never saw Flavia again. We took different paths at university as I was always busy with work and studies.

But her name reappeared on my radar recently; a friend narrated the increasing cases of women cheating on their wedded husbands. It turns out Flavia ended up at a large company in Kampala, where she heads a department. It also turns out she is married to one of my former schoolmates who was a few years ahead of me.

It also happens that Flavia was recently spending some nights at the rented quarters of a junior employee while my OB folded, hands between legs, in the king-size bed of their palatial home.

In narrating the story of Flavia, my friend used that tone that made it clear this was an unfortunate development. Why, my friend wondered, should such a beautiful woman be sexually harassing her juniors so as to get bouts of intimacy? Why wouldn’t her husband be out-doing himself to satisfy her?

As I mused over these matters, I thought about a comment posted by Edison on my article about why men cheat. Edison warned us men to wake up and realise that women are cheating more than us, although they are more discrete.

If you think your wife is “nice as a nun” until you get back home, Edison recommends that you wake up. She could have more side-dishes than you can imagine.  I am sure my OB cannot imagine that his “God-sent” wife can cheat. I am sure those nights she spends in another man’s muzigo are recorded as nights spent in Jinja or Mbarara on official duty!

So, my dear brothers out there, I think we may have to become less trusting. It may help for you to be sure that your wife is where she claims to be. Don’t just assume that only you can get swept away by a cute girl. She can also hanker after other men, who will be happy to have their piece of her flesh and leave you to deal with a troubled, troublesome soul.

Another thing that came up is why she should be cheating. One possible reason is that she is not getting enough romance at home. But why should this be?

I have often talked to couples who seem very right for each other, but who are having serious marital problems. In many of these cases, the wife is breathtakingly good looking and you wonder why her man is not interested enough.

One reason that keeps cropping up is that the man is so disappointed in his beautiful wife that even the bedroom department is some kind of cold room. In some cases the woman is “so stubborn”, meaning she does not show her husband any kind of respect as the head of the household.

In other cases, the man is unhappy with aspects of home-management and his complaints are not yielding any results.  This means that even when her awesome body is lying next to him, there may be no sparks at all. As we have often been reminded, the brain is the body’s principal sex organ; if a man is deeply unhappy with a wife’s overall performance, beauty alone will not sustain a marriage.

by uncle sam